early childhood education

Maternity Leave can be a Lonely Ass Place

Maternity can be a very lonely place. You’ve finished work for Maternity Leave, the place you go to everyday of the week and the place you most likely speak to the most people during the day.

Then suddenly your at home with no one, not doing any of the daily activities you are used to. And possibly can’t due to the size of the not so tiny human growing inside you.

Everyone else’s life’s continue on around you and you and little one get pushed from your old life and the life you know, and into a whole new world.

There’s the new life where you have no idea what to do. You have a newborn baby and no clue what to do, then there’s which baby class do I go to, when should baby be weighed, should we be doing more tummy time or sensory play…….

The first couple of weeks living in a new born bubble with your partner at home if they have taken paternity leave can be great. Your both there to deal with whatever’s going on and getting to grips with everything this new baby throws at you (literally!).

But then paternity leave comes to an end and your pretty much going it alone. It’s just you and Little One with no adult conversation at all. Sometimes just going to the shop can be nice just to say “hello” to the cashier and know that they understand you!

In comes baby groups / classes, there are mums that are in exactly the same situation as you. Just knowing that your not the only one sat up alone at night feeding baby for the 4th time as their going through sleep regression.

But sometimes you don’t have the energy after being up 5 times in the night to go out,and those long days in the house just the 2 of you with a mountain of chores building up can be tough.

Scrolling through social media and seeing what other parents are doing can have a negative impact on our mental health. Feeling guilty that we aren’t doing enough. Then forgetting to reply to every message that comes through as something else needs doing at the same time.

There are somethings that can help:

  • Going to baby group (face to face or online)
  • Having routine to the day
  • Having the other half do a specific baby task during the day so you can have 5 minutes to yourself
  • Having a chat whether that be a socially distanced walk or just a phone call with someone everyday so it’s not just you and the baby talk
  • Sometimes just getting out the house and going for a walk can really help as it takes you away from being trapped indoors and is really freeing for the mind.

Doing it all in the middle of a global pandemic can be really difficult as well! Hats off to all your newborn mummies (and daddies) as it has really not been easy on any of us!